Men's Health Month May Have Ended, But Caring For South African Men Should Not.

For many South African men, the pressure to be strong, provide for their families, and "hold it together" continues each and every day. Yet behind that image of resilience lies a growing mental health crisis that too often goes unnoticed until it reaches a breaking point. 

 On the 10th of May the South African Government News Agency published a statement by the Minister in the Presidency for Women, Youth and Persons with Disabilities, Sindisiwe Chikunga where she described the growing mental health crisis among boys and men as a “silent national emergency.” She stated that “Too many men are carrying emotional pain in silence. Depression, anxiety, trauma, substance abuse, and social isolation are affecting men across all age groups, communities, and economic backgrounds. We must break the stigma that says men must suffer quietly,”she said. This concern reflects a reality that mental health organisations across South Africa continue to witness every day.

Meet the Expert 

Tebogo Ramadiro is the Substance Abuse Project Coordinator at the South African Depression and Anxiety Group (SADAG). He is also a registered Social Auxiliary Worker and mental health and substance abuse speaker, working closely with individuals experiencing emotional distress, addiction and mental health challenges. 

Why so many men stay silent 

If you were to ask the men in your life about how they are doing today, chances are they would simply say “I’m fine”. However “fine” does not always mean that a person is okay. 

For generations, boys have grown up hearing phrases like "Indoda ayikhali" or "Ubuhle bendoda iy'nkomo zayo"  which are messages that suggest a man should not cry and that his worth is measured by his ability to provide. Over time, these beliefs teach men that vulnerability is something to hide rather than something to talk about because they were never given the space to express it.

According to Tebogo Ramadiro, this is the exact reason why many men delay seeking help. He states that even when they finally reach out to SADAG's helpline, they rarely begin by saying they are struggling with depression or anxiety. Instead, they talk about losing their jobs, mounting financial pressure, relationship problems, work-related stress, or physical symptoms such as constant headaches, muscle tension, exhaustion and difficulty sleeping. It is often only through further conversation that the emotional distress behind these challenges begins to surface. Which showcases the importance of giving men the platform to express their emotions. 

What struggle really looks like

One of the biggest misconceptions about mental health is that you'll always be able to tell when someone is struggling. However the reality is that emotional distress does not always look like someone crying or openly saying they need help. Sometimes, it hides in plain sight. Ramadiro says the warning signs are often behaviours that people dismiss as "just stress."

A man who suddenly becomes withdrawn from family and friends, is constantly irritable, works excessively, or loses interest in the things he once enjoyed may be dealing with something far deeper. Changes in sleeping or eating patterns, increased alcohol or substance use, and emotional withdrawal can also be signs that someone is struggling with depression or anxiety.

Recognising these changes early is important because many men continue pushing through their emotional pain until it becomes unbearable. By the time they ask for help, they are often already in crisis.

How can you help? 

If you've recognised some of these warning signs in a father, brother, partner or friend, your first instinct might be to immediately try and solve the problem. But according to Ramadiro, that is not what they need.

Instead, he encourages loved ones to approach the conversation with empathy, patience and without judgement. Rather than confronting someone in the heat of the moment, choose a calm space where they feel comfortable enough to open up. "Focus on listening rather than trying to fix the problems immediately," he advises.

This  also means being intentional about the words you use. Simple phrases such as, "I've noticed you haven't been yourself lately," or "I'm here for you. You don't have to go through this alone," can create a safe space for someone to speak honestly, says Radimo.

Phrases to avoid are just as equally important. Ramadiro says comments such as "man up," "others have it worse," or "just get over it" may seem harmless, but they often shut down communication and leave men feeling even more isolated. Instead of telling men to "man up," he believes we should be encouraging them to "speak up."

Reaching out is a sign of strength 

If you're reading this as a man and you've recognised some of these warning signs in yourself, just you don't have to carry everything on your own. The same message applies to those supporting a loved one. If the conversation feels bigger than what you can manage alone, encouraging them to seek professional support could be one of the most important things you do.

For many men, taking that first step is often the hardest. Shame, fear of being judged and the belief that they should be able to solve every problem on their own often prevent them from asking for help. Ramadiro says many men only begin accepting support when they feel heard rather than judged, showing how one honest conversation can be the turning point.

He also believes it's time to challenge the idea that a man's worth is measured only by his ability to provide. "It is important to reinforce that self-worth is not solely defined by financial success," he says. Whether it's speaking to someone you trust, contacting organisations such as SADAG for confidential counselling, or reaching out to a psychologist, counsellor or social worker, support is available because, as Ramadiro puts it, "asking for help definitely is not a sign of weakness, but a sign of strength."

June may have ended, but prioritising men's mental health should not. A lot of men are still answering, "I am fine," when they are carrying far more than anyone can see. Changing that starts with one honest conversation, one person who chooses to listen without judgement, and one man who knows that asking for help is a sign of strength, not weakness. The sooner we break the silence, the sooner we can begin to address the silent mental health crisis affecting South African men. If you or someone you know is in crisis, support is available through the SADAG Suicide Crisis Helpline on 0800 567 567.