The Weight of the Win: How the Pursuit of Success is Affecting Our Mental Health

BY NOLWAZI VEZI
Apr 29
4 min read

Where does ambition end and self-destruction begin? This isn’t one of those questions you answer quickly. It’s the kind that lingers. The kind that echoes when you’re wide awake at 2am, refreshing your inbox like success might magically arrive in an unread email. It doesn’t. Instead, what often arrives is burnout—masked as productivity, justified by pressure, and praised as “grind culture.”

Let’s be honest, in our hyperconnected world, success isn’t just goals but an entire lifestyle. The curated soft life. The booked-and-busy life. The graduate-by-23, CEO-by-30 life. But in this breathless pursuit of “more,” many of us are paying with our peace and it’s costing more than we realize.

For many of us, the chase starts early… study hard, graduate quickly, work harder, and become the blueprint for success. Add in the weight of ‘black tax’, economic instability, unemployment, and generational expectations, and suddenly success becomes less about thriving and more about surviving.

Clara Wilcox , founder of The Balance Collective and a career coach supporting parents, students, and young professionals believes that we’re raised to believe rest is a reward, not a right. “We’ve been conditioned to feel guilty for slowing down as though rest must be earned through exhaustion. But rest is a right. It’s not selfish, it’s necessary for sustainable success and well-being

This sentiment echoes data published by the South African Depression and Anxiety Group (SADAG), which reported in 2023 that 1 in 4 university students had seriously considered suicide, with academic and career-related pressure being among the leading causes. The silent cry of a generation is clear: we are overwhelmed and under-supported.

The Illusion of the ‘Overnight’ Success

It doesn’t help that we have front-row seats to everyone’s highlight reel. One minute, someone is struggling like you. The next? They’re announcing a relocation to Joburg, a brand collaboration with a luxury label, and a TEDx talk. You missed the middle part. The rejections, therapy sessions, and sacrifices. And now you’re asking yourself: “Am I falling behind?”

Social media has warped our perception of time and trajectory. According to Dr. Kinga Mnich in her thought-provoking LinkedIn piece, “When Mental Health Wins Against the Need for Success”, success culture, especially on social media, is often “centered around performance rather than purpose.” Dr. Mnich argues that when we detach our worth from our wellbeing, we begin to chase outcomes rather than live intentionally, something that has long-term consequences for emotional and mental stability.

Hustle Culture: When Hard Work Becomes Harm

Let’s call it what it is: hustle culture is capitalism’s most seductive trap. It glorifies exhaustion. It labels burnout as commitment. And it rewards overworking as ambition.

In South Africa, where unemployment remains high and the cost of living climbs steadily, hustle

culture often feels like the only option. But at what cost?

According to a study published in the International Journal of Environmental Research and Public Health (2022), constant exposure to pressure-driven environments—whether online or in the workplace—has a direct impact on stress levels, emotional exhaustion, and depressive symptoms, particularly among people aged 18 to 35.

What’s more alarming is how deeply ingrained the idea of self-worth through productivity has become. Many young professionals feel that saying “I’m busy” is proof of success. Rest becomes suspicious. Silence is uncomfortable. Doing “nothing” becomes shameful.

Redefining Luxury: Wellness is the Real Soft Life

Luxury isn’t just something you wear or drive… Real luxury is found in emotional ease, mental clarity, and spiritual alignment. It's the kind of wealth that doesn’t always sparkle on the outside, but grounds you deeply on the inside.

Imagine a life where you don’t wake up panicked. Where you don’t attach your value to your output. Where you are successful and soft. Ambitious and at peace. That’s the version of luxury more young people are quietly craving.

It’s the luxury of therapy. Of journaling. Of setting boundaries without guilt. Of healing out loud and not just working in silence. It’s a soft life rooted in wellness, not winnings.

Doing It Differently: What If Success Didn’t Hurt?

Ambition isn’t the enemy. Wanting more for your life is powerful. But not if it comes at the expense of your mental health. Not if you’re building an empire and burning yourself down in the process.

Here are 5 ways we can start redefining success in a healthier, more human way:

Choose purpose over pressure. Not every opportunity is aligned. Not every grind is worth the glory.

Rest without apology. You don’t have to earn sleep. Or silence. Or soft days.

Decolonise your timeline. Someone else’s pace is not your blueprint. Run your own race.

Invest in your emotional wealth. Whether it’s therapy, meditation, or movement, pour into your peace.

Celebrate the quiet wins. Growth isn’t always public. Sometimes the most powerful success is healing in private.

You’re Not Lazy. You’re Exhausted. And That’s Valid.

We weren’t built to perform endlessly. We were built to feel. To connect. To dream and to rest. To create and to pause.

So if you’re feeling stretched, tired, overwhelmed, or on the edge—breathe. You are allowed to exist without performing. You’re allowed to be human without hustling. You’re allowed to choose wellness even when the world demands output. As Dr. Mnich puts it: “The most revolutionary thing we can do is care for ourselves enough to pause.”